Deirdre Reynolds: It’s time men turn tide on monsters who are out there

Since the opening of the #MeToo floodgates, tidal wave after tidal wave of bad, even criminal, behaviour by men once regarded as national treasures has come crashing to the surface.

In an extremely short space of time, it feels like we’ve gone from the era of ‘Mad Men’ to very mad women, where behaviour that even a decade ago would have been let slide in pubs, workplaces or public spaces around the country, is now rightfully being called out left, right and centre.

It’s the petri dish that has enabled ‘alpha male’ influencers like Joe Rogan, Russell Brand and the now-deplatformed Andrew Tate to flourish in the so-called manosphere among disenchanted followers who weren’t even born when The Cosby Show or Jim’ll Fix It were family favourites on TV.

Don’t worry: this isn’t another lecture on ‘toxic masculinity’.

In fact, this isn’t about men feeling attacked at all. It’s about women actually being attacked, and murdered, in the broadest of daylight by a complete stranger – and a gentle reminder amid all the finger-pointing this weekend to also step into our shoes for a moment, if you can.

The horrific nature of Ashling Murphy’s death last January – and the disgusting lies that her killer told in court in a pathetic attempt to evade justice – brought the country to a standstill as the inevitable guilty verdict was delivered on Thursday, with much talk of a ‘watershed moment’ with regards to the pandemic of male violence against women which has claimed 263 lives in Ireland since 1996.

But the defensiveness and wild deflection from some quarters in the wake of the jury’s unanimous decision isn’t going to do anything to end femicide or make women feel any safer while out for a jog.

‘Monster’, ‘animal’, ‘predator’, ‘beast’ are among the more printable words used to describe the man who has joined their ranks in prison.

All true, of course – but perhaps the most terrifying thing of all is that he is also just human.

There wasn’t a single woman in the country who didn’t get a chill down her spine at the CCTV images of this evil bastard – another synonym, borrowed in part from judge Mr Justice Tony Hunt – casually cycling around looking for a victim. It’s terrifying to think that there may be more like him stalking streets or dating sites at this very moment.

It’s no wonder that a lot of men are so keen to distance themselves from his ilk, in any way possible. But isn’t it interesting how the same people now using the tragedy to beat their anti-immigration drum online remain quiet about our own embarrassment of homegrown woman-killers, including Joe O’Reilly and Graham Dwyer?

You only had to listen to Ashling’s brother, Cathal, and her boyfriend, Ryan, speak so beautifully about the 23-year-old on the steps of the Criminal Courts of Justice on Thursday to acknowledge there are plenty of good and kind men out there.

Anyone triggered by the National Women’s Council of Ireland’s reasonable ask for men to help turn the tide by “calling out the type of banter that is the starting point of violence against women” is just focused on the wrong thing – themselves.