Single mum battling anorexia since age 12 says bodybuilding saved her life

Lynn Campbell not only took part in her first fitness modelling competition, but she went and won it last week in Carryduff.

Today she tells the Sunday World how her success came after years of battling mental illness which manifested itself in depression, anxiety and a crippling eating disorder.

“I’ve struggled with an eating disorder for most of my life and suffered from low self-confidence and body dysmorphia, but I had always dreamed of doing a bikini show on stage,” says the 44-year-old mum of two.

“I was so nervous before I went on. I was shaking and my legs were trembling and there I was, someone who spent years hating my body, standing there in a bikini having to smile, pose and go through a whole routine in front of loads of people.

“It was all a bit of a blur, but I got through it. When they announced I’d won my category, I couldn’t believe it. I thought ‘seriously, me?’.

“I’m really proud of myself because I have been through hell in my life and this has given my self-confidence such a boost.”

Lynn, from Dromore, Co Down, now says she’s “in the best place she’s ever been” in her life after she was named Best Toned over 40 at the Northern Ireland Fitness Modelling Association (NIFMA) event at the Ivanhoe bar.

She also won the overall Miss NIFMA Irish Universe title.

Taking to the stage in a bikini to pose in front of hundreds of people is a daunting enough prospect at the best of times, but for Lynn, who has bravely battled with the eating disorder and body dysmorphia, it was a gargantuan task.

She’s now talking openly about her battles with her mental health, how weight training saved her life and says she’s helping people with similar issues reach their goals.

“I was starving myself and lived for years just eating a piece of bread a day,” she says.

“Anorexia, depression and anxiety made everyday tasks a real struggle. But after years of suffering, I discovered weight training and found to do it you had to eat much more than I was comfortable with to build muscle.

“I had always been obsessed with doing cardio to work off whatever I had eaten because I thought I was going to put on weight.

“But when I started doing weight training, I was eating more and doing a lot less cardio than I used to do and even taking days off to rest which I’d never have done before.

“I know now that I needed to eat properly to fuel my body and for bodybuilding in order to build the muscle. Weight training is essential because we lose muscle as well as bone density as we age.

“I had always wanted to do a bikini show, but I was never in the right frame of mind for it.

“My body issues held me back, but finally I got up the courage and forced myself because I thought, if I don’t do it now, I’ll never do it.”

Lynn, originally from Armagh, says a number of setbacks in life had left her battling mental health issues until she got help.

“It all started when I was held back to repeat a year in primary school. This was a big knock-back in life and my first taste of how to deal with setbacks which I had no preparation for as they don’t teach you about resilience and how to deal with change.

“I was a very shy child. I had no confidence and was bullied for my shyness. From about 12 when I got to big school I stopped eating properly as I felt I didn’t fit in.

“It followed me throughout my teenage years, into university and right through adulthood.

“I hated myself for a long time and obviously had body dysmorphia because all I could see in the mirror was someone who was overweight, even though I was often under seven stone.

“Everyone else saw me as super-skinny, but that’s not what I saw every day. In my head I was overweight, but I knew I wasn’t eating enough.

“I was getting a buzz, a high, from being in control and I obsessively weighed myself.

“Back when it started, nobody talked about anorexia or understood how to deal with it. I avoided meal times as I became a vegetarian, which at that time wasn’t catered for in restaurants or supermarkets. And so I was able to avoid family meal times.

“I never really went out because all social things were connected with food and eating out, so I just avoided social events.

“I used to do cardio workouts every day, and every time I ate something, I’d have to go run or do something to work it off.”

Lynn went on to Ulster University to study business and marketing. She married in 2007 but struggled to get pregnant because of her weight.

She explains: “I went through fertility treatment for three years, had several miscarriages and was struggling with life, going through this while working, as well as being a mum to my daughter and a wife.

“I eventually had IVF hoping this would be it, but it failed.

“I then took a break, cut down my cardio and started eating more and then I got pregnant naturally and had my second daughter.

“I grew up wanting the fairytale — meet someone, fall in love and you have a family and you live happily ever after. Unfortunately, life isn’t like that. I struggled with having children, and then a year after I finally had my long-awaited second baby, I became a single parent.

“My whole world fell apart and I was really low. If it hadn’t been for the kids, I’m not sure what I would have done. They kept me going.

motivation

“Throughout those tough times I continued exercising. It helped me get through each day, it gave me motivation and strength.

“I was struggling to cope with the changes to my life and I realised I needed help.

“So I went to counselling and did a mindfulness course through Aware and slowly I began to understand that the fairytale I’d been hoping for when I was younger wasn’t realistic.

“I understood you can go through many relationships and I learnt that life is a book and we have many chapters. As we go through each chapter, we learn from the previous one and it helps us grow stronger.”

Now Lynn is juggling being a single mum to Cara (10) and Mya (14), as well as working part time in a marketing job and is starting up her own personal training business under the name Moodfit.

“I am helping people with their fitness and nutrition issues, which in turn will help them with their mental health,” she says.

“My personal experiences and battles mean I have actually been through these things myself, so I can offer real advice and support.

“When I was in my darkest moments, I knew I just had to get through them for the sake of the kids. You can either lie down and die, or you can get up and take control.

“I started setting myself challenges every year to help keep myself motivated and also to make myself stronger mentally. My first challenge was the Belfast Marathon, then a cycle from Belfast to Dublin for charity and then a white collar boxing match, as well as trying out classes in pole dancing, aerial silks and hoop.

“I did my first photoshoot two years ago. This was to promote my business but was also a challenge. I hated getting my photo taken as I always saw myself as fat.

“My challenge this year was to step on stage in a bikini and another photoshoot. This took me two years to get myself in the right mindset to be able to do it, and as.”

Martin Spence, who introduced fitness modelling to Northern Ireland, said he was delighted for Lynn’s ultimate success.

“What an amazing day it was for Lynn,” he said. “I had been encouraging her to grace the NIFMA stage for many years. And she pulled off a great win.”

The next NIFMA 2024 Mr & Miss Ireland show will take part in the Canal Court Hotel, Newry, on June 2. Register at http://wbfma.com.

For help and information about eating disorders, go to https://mentalhealth-uk.org.